The Angels of the Guard

Chapter 4

And Sandra continue raconting:

 

- One day, I was eating calmly, seated in a table at the back of the Restaurant, when I heard somebody pronouncing  both your name and mine. I was thrilled and I listened :

 

“”” – Have you seen Adam Albion on last Sunday?  - asked a feminine voice? .

 

- Yes – answered another voice, but masculine this time – He was strolling about with a young lady. – I heard that they would marry soon.

 

- They told me that, too. I know this girl from sight. She doesn’t worth a penny. I wonder what Adam had found in her. Nothing of her person is interesting ; she has neither a good position; she is not nice looking nor sympathetic. ... On the contrary, he is so beautiful!, so handsome! ... At his place, I would have chosen an elegant woman coming from a well known family; with a well balanced body; in order to be able to introduce her everywhere with pride. It sounds to me rather difficult to understand. The most beautiful  and rich women are creasy about him. And  ... he compromise himself with this plane girl, who has nothing of value; who has nothing to attire a man: neither a pretty face nor a slender body. ... Did you see her close up? ... Her visage looks like a colander.

 

- It would have been difficult to find an uglier; that is true. With the wonderful girls who are constantly flirting around him ... I think men are too good ... I can figure to myself what occurred ... He  may  have  had  a  date  with  her  sometime,   just to flirt a  little; and she would soon have created a novel around it. We have to take in mind that when a girl who doesn’t expect to live a  love story, finding herself not pretty enough; and then a man like Adam approaches her amiably and takes her around; she would forget reality and live in a dream, becoming foolishly enamoured... After all, she may have other qualities. You must not be so severe with her. ... He doesn’t want to disappoint her. Do you understand? ... He must truly love her. Why not? ...

 

- No! I don’t understand. Men do not seek goodness in women, but beauty; and this one has none. ... How many tears she had had to shed to be accepted! ...

 

- It could be. You must know how you, women, manage yourselves when you desire to capture a man.

 

- Are you dropping me a hint?

 

- Take it as you wish!

 

- Anyhow, they can marry; but I tell you, their marriage would not last long. Too many beautiful and intelligent girls are around him. I bet you anything that they fall apart before the year. And I win, sure!!! ... ... “””

 

Sandra carries on with the story, unwillingly. Her voice sound very sad when saying :

- You see how difficult it is for me to tell this to you? I did not know I was so ugly, so terribly plane, lacking of any interest in the eyes of other people. I did not know I was so worthless.  Once at home, I asked the mirror; and what I saw didn’t please me.  I thought it may be possible that those persons were right; that you need somebody more valuable. I thought the better I could do is to depart; to let you free. I managed to convince me that  I have to learn to love you only for your good, not for mine. ... I tried but I could not imagine a life without you. I really need you,   and  THIS  is  what  gave  me  so  a  big , unwearable blue. I cannot shine and there are so many diamonds making their facets sparkle when passing near you. People are right when they wish you to take the most beautiful. You are worth still much more. You must take the most precious and caress it with your hands so smooth! ... ... People say you must take it, that in contact with your skin it would become warm and change into an enamoured woman. ... ... And ... I ... ... and I ... must be happy, knowing that you have the best, which is what you deserve! ... ... But I shall not be able  ... ... I know I SHALL NOT !!! ... ... Thinking it better, perhaps I could, if only, each day when I get up,  I have the security of your happiness. ...  And afterward I fell that I am the only one that could make you happy ... ... That you can only be happy with me; and, again, I fell in despair. ... ... I don’t know what to do. One minute I think I have to leave you free, the next I know it would be wrong because it would only torment you.

 

Adam cannot speak... ... Too many contrary feelings heap on his soul. He truly loves Sandra. Seeing her doubting hurts him. Because of that, because he fell unable to convince her with words, he takes her in his arms and kisses her with great passion.

 

But the face of Sandra is contracting with pain. Warm tears are silently falling upon her cheeks. Her body is terribly aching,  clasped into Adam’s arms. Nonetheless, what saddens her the most, is noticing that she is unable to let her lover enjoy what he must want and need, what he is dreadfully longing for.

 

- Please, put me down. Your hugging so tight hurts me so much  I cannot stand it. ... I am very sorry about that. You would never understand how terribly sorry I am.

 

- I beg you my pardon, my love ! ... ... I forgot for a moment your... Can you forgive me ??? ... without my will !!! ... ... I injured you so much !!! ... ... I am in debt with you and I want to pay it the highest price. I swear to do all in my power in order you feel, one day, the must happy of all the women of this planet.

 

With tenderness, Adam deposed the aching body of Sandra on the hard soil.

 

 - Try to sleep a little. It would do you good. I am sorry you had to lay on a so uncomfortable place; but what can we do? ... ... I shall take care of you. And please, don’t forget that I love you; that you are the one for me; the only one and the most attractive. Those beautiful women you call diamonds cannot take your place in my heart, never! I don’t think they have much to give to a man apart of beauty which fades away very soon ; beauty alone cannot fulfil a life of love. Your doubts hurt me a lot. Why did you not confide in me. You was about to ruin two lives, you know?, yours and mine.

 

- It has been just a moment of blue. It will not occur anymore. I told you I was ashamed. I comprehend now how deep is your love. I love you; you love me; we love each other ... ... BEING ABLE TO THINK LIKE THAT, IT’S SO WONDERFUL !!! ...

 

Sandra put her hand in the hand of her lover. The contact of his skin is making her good. It seems to her that a part of Adam’s vitality is running into her veins like a magnetic flow, effacing the pain.

 

Mariette

 

 

Will continue on next issue of AIR